Aside

The Battle or A War?

My breathing slows to counter the increase of heart palpitations. The force of gravity becomes stronger with every step. Every movement. No fire. No desire. For anything. I try to ignore the symptoms but they are not so easily hidden. I’m good at holding them back until I’m asked the question that’s forbidden. “What’s wrong?”. 

The battle begins. Fight back tears. Maintain a straight face. “Nothing” My eyes start watering, can’t release pressure, now they burn. With every ounce of energy I use, the pain doubles over. The first tear breaks lose. And that battle is over. I have been defeated. The truth is i don’t know what’s wrong at this current moment. I just know, that something IS wrong. And no, I don’t know how to fix it. 
So now what?